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This year signifies a full decade since the word “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without a word seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a mate has only become more bewildering – an frequently unsuccessful pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial elders could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a extensive guide to the words gen Z is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A social media test inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding enigma and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to seeking out someone who helps you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do low-cost dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to couples who opt out of having children to focus on their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of playing it cool: utilizing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal traits signaling a potential partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits confirm your decision to date a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, largely inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and often mundane turnoffs that immediately shut down any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly thoughtful display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {